Yawny's Digest
"All I see turns to brown" - R.Plant

bro ngl u needa stfu fr

One thing I’ve noticed about kids these days is that many of them simply will not shut the fuck up, no matter how many times you remind them that they’re “wasting everyone else’s time.” After corporal punishment was removed from education, the only sticks left to use on students were public shaming, yelling, and calling the parents. Today, using any of those tactics could get you banned from teaching forever, maybe even land you in jail for child abuse. When I was a kid, if you messed up, you went to the principal’s office, which was a pretty big deal. But at the last school where I worked, kids sent to the principal’s office were literally given candy. I’m not making this up, ask anyone.

Anyway, now my main approach when students are lipping off and interrupting is to stop and stare at them. Like, kind of weird them out. It works some of the time. The rest of the time, I just check my watch and wait for the hour to be over. Ultimately I have the last laugh, because I get paid no matter what, and at the end of the day, they’re ten years old and pretty dumb compared to me.

Issue: 15-2 (orig. pub. date: )