Yawny's Digest
"All I see turns to brown" - R.Plant

Sacred Cow Hatchet Job: Joy Division

Once at a party I said that Jimi Hendrix was overrated, but I only said that to get attention. Obviously Hendrix was a musical genius. I couldn’t say the same thing about anyone in Joy Division, not even Peter Hook. No offense, but the best thing to happen to Joy Division was Ian Curtis killing himself. I know that sounds mean, but frankly the guy couldn’t sing to save his life, you see what I did there.

When I listen to Joy Division now, all the misery and depression of my high school years comes rushing back, which is both nauseating and embarrassing. I maintain that Joy Division did NOT help me through those times, whereas Van Halen and Throbbing Gristle most certainly did. See because those bands believed in going hard, and not being a bunch of crybabies, and also they fucking ruled. Furthermore it’s thanks to Joy Division that we’re saddled with the modern-day crap genres of emo, screamo, and crunkcore. Do me a favor, go to YouTube, search for BrokenCYDE and tell me with a straight face that, on balance, Joy Division was a net positive for society.

Issue: 11-3 (orig. pub. date: )